I named my blog after the song by the Indigo Girls, which was a favorite in my college dorms. I've known the words to the song by heart for years http://www.metrolyrics.com/least-complicated-lyrics-indigo-girls.html and "the hardest to learn was the least complicated" truly speaks to my experience with motherhood. And the line "the kids are walkin home from school" reminds me of how much I wish my neighborhood was full of kids walking home in lieu of the SUV traffic that rivals Los Angeles at rush hour.
I've always been a pretty laid back mom, but it took me until my third baby before I gave up feeling guilty about it. I stopped stressing over all the scheduled nursing, waking and sleep training nonsense. I was all about keeping simple. I used to wear Luke in a sling everywhere, not because I'm a hippy but because I had two preschoolers to chase around. I breastfed because it was easy, but when I had to give a bottle it was formula, pumping was too....say it with me...complicated!
Now that my babies are not so much babies, but kids ages 10, 8 and 5...I try my best not to complicate things. When I thought about this blog last year I was still a stay at home mom. I was itching to cut out all the crazy from motherhood; from the baby music classes to driving kids to school early so that they can join the walking club- hello anyone else see the irony? I felt like it was more complicated than ever to raise kids, and I felt like we moms were making it that way. I was longing to be more of an old fashioned 50's style mom, who didn't have a car or cable or a gym membership and who's kids did chores and entertained themselves around the neighborhood.
Circumstances have changed and I now work outside the home. I've gotten a chance to make friends with a couple of moms outside of my usual circles. They don't have time to drive their kids to school, so their kids take the bus. If the kid forgets something at home, that sucks for them. If my kids forgets something at school and I am stuck at the office, I usually cry because I feel so guilty. The girls at the office don't fret about gifts for teachers or school events, in fact when I try to discuss such topics at work I have often gotten the reply "who do you hang out with?" and I just laugh...I hang out with people exactly like me!
I never guessed I could learn so much about motherhood from younger, working, single moms who've never even been to a PTA meeting. But I have...by just listening to my friend Amanda on the phone with her sons everyday after they get themselves home from school...I've learned about discipline, chores, independence and fierce mama bear love. I still don't know where my ideal throw back mom is hiding in 2011 but I know her kids are walkin home from school, or at least taking the bus.
Love it!!! I often struggle with the working mom guilt, especially now as I am a few short weeks from returning to work after my second. And just when it seems as though the guilt has reached it's peak, my son returns home from school to tell me all about his day's adventures - adventures, I realize, he would not have if I didn't work. Or he tells me about a new friend, or how much his teachers love him......... I am the type of mom who wishes I could have my kids with me 24/7 but am realizing my kids are better people because they aren't.
ReplyDeleteLoved your post. There are a lot of complicating moms out there: working and stay-at-home. Just don't get lazy w/ your kids' academics, as it seems many of the working families do in K's class/at her school. And when it comes to former teachers becoming stay-at-home moms: they don't pay enough for me to go back, just plain not worth it to pay someone else to watch my kids while I tend to the children of so many others. Wish it was different, but it's not. Teachers' pay sucks!
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